Poetry, quotes, photos, and stories to provoke spiritual thought and contemplation as well as thoughts on my personal journey towards finding meaning, peace and joy.
I have a real problem with the repetition of bible verses that are being taken completely out of context.
This isn't an indictment of the people who do this because they are often just repeating something that they've been taught by a trusted source. I just see a need to break a very dangerous cycle. Most of us have misquoted someone or taken something out of context at one time or another. However when people repeatedly state that "the bible states so and so" or "The Lord says so and so", and what they're repeating is inaccurate or out of context, they can unknowingly lead another person's faith astray.
Here's an example of what I'm referring to and, a little something to ponder during the week.
Why do so many people die around the ages of 70 - 80?
Could it be because they believe that people are supposed to die at that age?
Have you ever heard someone say:
"Well you know the bible says that man is only promised threescore and 10 (70) years".
or
"Well you know after 70, you're living on borrowed time".
Have you ever wondered if the Christian bible actually says that?
Well it really doesn't. But, for generations many Christians have been quoting, as fact, a bible verse Psalm 90:10 completely out of context.
In the King James Version of the bible the verse reads:
"The days of our years are threescore (60) 2years and ten; and if by reason of strength they be fourscore (80) years, yet is their strength labour and sorrow; for it is soon cut off, and we fly away."
It sounds like man is only promised a lifespan of 70-80 years, right?
Not really.
Here is that same verse in the Amplified Bible (AMP), which is now recognized as a more accurate translation of the original Hebrew text, along with a footnote which places the version in its proper context:
Psalm 90:10
"The days of our years are [a]threescore years and ten (seventy years)--or even, if by reason of strength, fourscore years (eighty years); yet is their pride [in additional years] only labor and sorrow, for it is soon gone, and we fly away."
Footnotes:
Psalm 90:10 This psalm is credited to Moses, who is interceding with God to remove the curse which made it necessary for every Israelite over twenty years of age (when they rebelled against God at Kadesh-barnea) to die before reaching the promised land (Num. 14:26-35). Moses says most of them are dying at seventy years of age. This number has often been mistaken as a set span of life for all mankind. It was not intended to refer to anyone except those Israelites under the curse during that particular forty years. Seventy years never has been the average span of life for humanity. When Jacob, the father of the twelve tribes, had reached 130 years (Gen. 47:9), he complained that he had not attained to the years of his immediate ancestors. In fact, Moses himself lived to be 120 years old, Aaron 123, Miriam several years older, and Joshua 110 years of age. Note as well that in the Millennium a person dying at 100 will still be thought a child (Isa. 65:20).
When you get a chance, read the entire Psalm for yourself.
Then go read Genesis 6:1-3
In the KJV it reads:
"1And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,
2That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
3And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years."
In the Message version the same verses read as:
" 1-2 When the human race began to increase, with more and more daughters being born, the sons of God noticed that the daughters of men were beautiful. They looked them over and picked out wives for themselves.
3 Then God said, "I'm not going to breathe life into men and women endlessly. Eventually they're going to die; from now on they can expect a life span of 120 years."
Again don't take my word for it, read the verses for yourself.
Now if you had to choose a verse to quote why would you choose a verse that offers you a lifespan of 70-80 years rather than one that offers you a lifespan of 120 years?
So why don't people live to to 120? Throughout the bible are numerous references to ways that we can lengthen or shorten our lives, ( check out Leviticus, Deuteronomy and Proverbs to start).
As I've said don't just take my word that this is true. In fact, don't just take anyone's word on what the bible says, Check it out for yourself.
Just a little something to think about.
Now for most of you, I'm preaching to the choir and this message isn't really for you. But if you know someone who might need it, pass it on. You just might help save their life.
"I call heaven and earth to witness this day against you that I have set before you life and death, the blessings and the curses; therefore choose life, that you and your descendants may live"
Warning: the following two videos may contain language that you may find offensive. They are used here not for their shock value but to present real people and their views of society.
How Would You Answer These Questions?
The next time that you look at that WWJD bracelet or tee-shirt think about these videos. How do you think Jesus would respond to these videos?
Hint: His first response wouldn't be to condemn their language or the smoking.
I recently heard a minister say that he was advising his partners not to take part in the recession. In other words choose not to let all of the news around you dictate your attitude and your actions.
I agree with this spiritual teaching. However, I would add this caveat. While we may refuse to let our individual lives be controlled by the changing winds and tides of the economy we must not ignore how these events are impacting our neighbors.
While some people are telling others to stop listening to the news, I encourage you to listen to more news, to listen closely -- listen and ask questions. And after you listen to the news, listen to The Holy Spirit, ask for discernment -- seek Wisdom.
Seek wisdom so you will not only have an answer for yourself but for your neighbor as well. It is not enough for us to know that we are flourishing. We are called to be fruitful ... to be "a well watered garden".
"This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts. What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad, being available to your own families. Do this and the lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once.l Your righteousness will pave your way. The God of glory will secure your passage. Then when you pray, God will answer. You'll call out for help and I'll say, 'Here I am.'
A Full Life in the Emptiest of Places
"If you get rid of unfair practices, quit blaming victims, quit gossiping about other people's sins, If you are generous with the hungry and start giving yourselves to the down-and-out, Your lives will begin to glow in the darkness, your shadowed lives will be bathed in sunlight. I will always show you where to go. I'll give you a full life in the emptiest of places— firm muscles, strong bones. You'll be like a well-watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry. You'll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, rebuild the foundations from out of your past. You'll be known as those who can fix anything, restore old ruins, rebuild and renovate, make the community livable again."
It is so nice to have a real Spring season and not jump directly from Winter to Summer. Cool sunny days, birds singing and gentle rains.
If it's Spring where you live, let every blooming flower, budding branch, April shower and nesting bird bring you joy, renew your hope and remind you of God's enduring and limitless love for you.
Matthew 6:25-33 (NIV)
Do Not Worry
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?
Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?
Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?
So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Most people who are familiar with Christianity are familiar with the words found in the Gospel of John Chapter 3, verses 16 and 17:
"This is how much God loved the world: He gave his Son, his one and only Son. And this is why: so that no one need be destroyed; by believing in him, anyone can have a whole and lasting life. God didn't go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again. " John 3:16-17 (The MSG)
But there’s another John 3:16. It’s Chapter 3, verses 16 &17 of The First Epistle of John to the Church of Ephesus
“This is how we've come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves. If you see some brother or sister in need and have the means to do something about it but turn a cold shoulder and do nothing, what happens to God's love? It disappears. And you made it disappear" I John 3:16-17 (The MSG)
No one's life reflected this passage of scripture more than the late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. In remembrance of the 40th anniversary of his assassination, I’d like to share excerpts from one of his last sermons.
There can be no gainsaying of the fact that a great revolution is taking place in the world today. In a sense it is a triple revolution: that is, a technological revolution, with the impact of automation and cybernation; then there is a revolution in weaponry, with the emergence of atomic and nuclear weapons of warfare; then there is a human rights revolution, with the freedom explosion that is taking place all over the world. Yes, we do live in a period where changes are taking place. And there is still the voice crying through the vista of time saying, "Behold, I make all things new; former things are passed away."
Now whenever anything new comes into history it brings with it new challenges and new opportunities. And I would like to deal with the challenges that we face today as a result of this triple revolution that is taking place in the world today.
First, we are challenged to develop a world perspective. No individual can live alone, no nation can live alone, and anyone who feels that he can live alone is sleeping through a revolution. The world in which we live is geographically one. The challenge that we face today is to make it one in terms of brotherhood.
Secondly, we are challenged to eradicate the last vestiges of racial injustice from our nation.
The hour has come for everybody, for all institutions of the public sector and the private sector to work to get rid of racism. And now if we are to do it we must honestly admit certain things and get rid of certain myths that have constantly been disseminated all over our nation.
We must come to see that the roots of racism are very deep in our country, and there must be something positive and massive in order to get rid of all the effects of racism and the tragedies of racial injustice.
There is another thing closely related to racism that I would like to mention as another challenge. We are challenged to rid our nation and the world of poverty. Like a monstrous octopus, poverty spreads its nagging, prehensile tentacles into hamlets and villages all over our world. Two-thirds of the people of the world go to bed hungry tonight. They are ill-housed; they are ill-nourished; they are shabbily clad. I’ve seen it in Latin America; I’ve seen it in Africa; I’ve seen this poverty in Asia.
As I noticed these things, something within me cried out, "Can we in America stand idly by and not be concerned?" And an answer came: "Oh no!" Because the destiny of the United States is tied up with the destiny of India and every other nation. And I started thinking of the fact that we spend in America millions of dollars a day to store surplus food, and I said to myself, "I know where we can store that food free of charge—in the wrinkled stomachs of millions of God’s children all over the world who go to bed hungry at night." And maybe we spend far too much of our national budget establishing military bases around the world rather than bases of genuine concern and understanding.
Not only do we see poverty abroad, I would remind you that in our own nation there are about forty million people who are poverty-stricken. I have seen them here and there. I have seen them in the ghettos of the North; I have seen them in the rural areas of the South; I have seen them in Appalachia. I have just been in the process of touring many areas of our country and I must confess that in some situations I have literally found myself crying.
Jesus told a parable one day, and he reminded us that a man went to hell because he didn’t see the poor. His name was Dives. He was a rich man. And there was a man by the name of Lazarus who was a poor man, but not only was he poor, he was sick. Sores were all over his body, and he was so weak that he could hardly move. But he managed to get to the gate of Dives every day, wanting just to have the crumbs that would fall from his table. And Dives did nothing about it. And the parable ends saying, "Dives went to hell, and there were a fixed gulf now between Lazarus and Dives."
There is nothing in that parable that said Dives went to hell because he was rich. Jesus never made a universal indictment against all wealth. It is true that one day a rich young ruler came to him, and he advised him to sell all, but in that instance Jesus was prescribing individual surgery and not setting forth a universal diagnosis. And if you will look at that parable with all of its symbolism, you will remember that a conversation took place between heaven and hell, and on the other end of that long-distance call between heaven and hell was Abraham in heaven talking to Dives in hell.
Now Abraham was a very rich man. If you go back to the Old Testament, you see that he was the richest man of his day, so it was not a rich man in hell talking with a poor man in heaven; it was a little millionaire in hell talking with a multimillionaire in heaven. Dives didn’t go to hell because he was rich; Dives didn’t realize that his wealth was his opportunity. It was his opportunity to bridge the gulf that separated him from his brother Lazarus. Dives went to hell because he was passed by Lazarus every day and he never really saw him. He went to hell because he allowed his brother to become invisible. Dives went to hell because he maximized the minimum and minimized the maximum. Indeed, Dives went to hell because he sought to be a conscientious objector in the war against poverty.
And this can happen to America, the richest nation in the world—and nothing’s wrong with that—this is America’s opportunity to help bridge the gulf between the haves and the have-nots. The question is whether America will do it. There is nothing new about poverty. What is new is that we now have the techniques and the resources to get rid of poverty. The real question is whether we have the will.
Much has been written recently about a well known minister’s comments which seemed to damn a nation. It is not my intent to discuss that issue here other than to reflect upon the power of words.
There’s a saying “Stick and Stones may break my bones but names can never hurt me” As children we all knew that this saying is not true no matter how much adults tried to convince us otherwise. Children instinctively know that words have power. But sadly, as we become adults many of us either forget about the power of words or we learn how to use that power for our own purposes. We learn how to bless or curse.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]”. -- Amplified Bible (AMP)
Said another way,
“Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose.” - The Message (MSG)
This past Good Friday, I was reminded of a message by Victoria Boyson entitled, "The Power of Blessing". In this message Victoria recalls a young women who seemed to be extremely blessed but did not live or feel that way.
“I once knew a young girl who seemed to have a lot going for her, but consistently failed in many areas of her life. I could not understand why- she seemed to choose failure over a successful, happy life. She was beautiful, talented and intelligent, but it was obvious that she did not esteem herself. And she continually made bad choices.
For years I could not understand why she did not see her true value as a person - until I met her mother. Her mother saw her as the biggest failure ever born and told her so. She would vomit out her many objections about her daughter to anyone who would listen to her. With her daughter present she would declare to a roomful of people what a failure she was. It did not take great discernment to see why the girl struggled so. Why should she like herself when the woman who gave birth to her did not see any good in her?”
Did this mother realize that her ill spoken words were cursing her daughter? Probably not. Did the daughter realize that words that her mother spoke over her were the cause of her low self esteem? Maybe. But whatever the mother or the daughter did or did not realize or intend, the power of the words still accomplished their work
In the Old Testament the descendants of Abraham recognized the power of words. In fact the words of blessing from a father were so sought after that mothers and sons stooped to deception to obtain. Many of you recall the story of the lengths to which Rebekah and Jacob went to have Isaac bestow the blessing of the first born on Jacob. Genesis 27
Words have power to bless and to curse. YOU CHOOSE! “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live”Deuteronomy 30:19 (New International Version)
The Spirit of God, the Master, is on me because God anointed me.
He sent me to preach good news to the poor, heal the heartbroken,
Announce freedom to all captives, pardon all prisoners.
God sent me to announce the year of his grace—
a celebration of God's destruction of our enemies—
and to comfort all who mourn,
If you are among the millions of people who've been taken advantage of by sub-prime mortgage lenders, payday loan sharks, or other deceptive credit schemes this message is for you. If you don't think that the Bible is relevant to today's issues then re-read the story of Palm Sunday. When you do you'll see that one day Jesus was welcomed by the crowds, praised and adored. However, in a few days much of that same crowd would be shouting "crucify him".
When they neared Jerusalem, having arrived at Bethphage on Mount Olives, Jesus sent two disciples with these instructions: "Go over to the village across from you. You'll find a donkey tethered there, her colt with her. Untie her and bring them to me. If anyone asks what you're doing, say, 'The Master needs them!' He will send them with you."
This is the full story of what was sketched earlier by the prophet: Tell Zion's daughter,
"Look, your king's on his way, poised and ready, mounted on a donkey, on a colt, foal of a pack animal."
The disciples went and did exactly what Jesus told them to do. They led the donkey and colt out, laid some of their clothes on them, and Jesus mounted. Nearly all the people in the crowd threw their garments down on the road, giving him a royal welcome. Others cut branches from the trees and threw them down as a welcome mat. Crowds went ahead and crowds followed, all of them calling out, "Hosanna to David's son!" "Blessed is he who comes in God's name!" "Hosanna in highest heaven!"
As he made his entrance into Jerusalem, the whole city was shaken. Unnerved, people were asking, "What's going on here? Who is this?"
The parade crowd answered, "This is the prophet Jesus, the one from Nazareth in Galilee."
Jesus went straight to the Temple and threw out everyone who had set up shop, buying and selling. He kicked over the tables of loan sharks and the stalls of dove merchants. He quoted this text:
My house was designated a house of prayer; You have made it a hangout for thieves.
Now there was room for the blind and crippled to get in. They came to Jesus and he healed them.
When the religious leaders saw the outrageous things he was doing, and heard all the children running and shouting through the Temple, "Hosanna to David's Son!" they were up in arms and took him to task. "Do you hear what these children are saying?"
Jesus said,"Yes, I hear them. And haven't you read in God's Word, 'From the mouths of children and babies I'll furnish a place of praise'?"
* * * * *
Could it be that the one act of Jesus that upset the establishment the most was that he overturned their accepted monetary practices in order to help people?
Jesus healed the sick, raised the dead and taught a message of peace and forgiveness. But, feeding thousands with just a few fish and loaves of bread, he also taught that man was not dependent of the world's financial system for his existence. He taught that man should seek the Kingdom of Heaven and God's way of doing things instead of relying on the world's systems. And when Jesus saw his people being taken advantage of in a place where they should have being going for help and healing he was outraged and turned over the moneychangers' tables.
Now over 2,000 years later, he is turning over the moneychangers' tables again.
The enemies of God -- those who take advantage of the poor, prey on the most vulnerable, practice deception and, devise ways to keep people in bondage -- will be exposed and brought to justice.
"A poor man's field may produce abundant food, but injustice sweeps it away"
May you all have a blessed Palm Sunday. Let this day remind you that although it may seem that the world has forsaken you now, you too, will rise again.
"There is more hunger in the world for love and appreciation in this world than for bread" -- Mother Teresa
Over the years there have been dozens of people who have played an important role in my life and to whom I wish I could turn today and say thank you. Sadly, sometimes I did not realize just how important they were until they were long gone. So in this post I'd like to publicly say a few "Thank You(s)" that I meant to say.
In the daily business of living, we are each thrown in with a wide cast of others, some of whom bless our lives immeasurably by tiny acts of kindness that impress and change and help us make a difference in the world. When we spend just a moment or two out of any given day expressing our appreciation to those who have gone out of their way to help us, we not only make them feel better, we change our own vibration, as well, raising it to reflect the goodness for which we are grateful. The first step in making the world a kinder and gentler place to be is to acknowledge the kindness and gentleness we've already been shown.
May you always be willing to show your appreciation.
And may you always be aware that you are loved beyond measure and a cherished blessing to me.
Until tomorrow,
May your day be filled with all things good Kate Nowak Live More Abundantly Productions, P.O. Box 58, Strawn, Texas 76475, USA
The following video was made for a thanksgiving luncheon for the parents of the youth group, Joy Fellowship.
" Have you ever wanted to say "thank you", but didn't? Next time, say it.."
This post is dedicated to Aunt Nessy, Addie Brown, Bernice Kemp Bell, Jack Butler, Anna Cooper, Sharon Johnson White, David Johnson, Milna Johnson, Barbara Demps, BJ Walker, Ellen Dubin, Jill Gabbe, Debra Iannotti, Daniel Bloom, Ruth Samzoric [ I know I just butchered your name :-) ], Elaine DiBonis, Lucille Lonardo and, the terrific Professor and Unitarian minister who taught "History of the Bible 101" at Emerson College in the late '70s.
If there are a few people who you meant to thank, why not add their name to comments.
I know that for many of us in the Northern Hemisphere it's still cold, and in some places, the ground is still covered with snow.
However, if you're a gardener you're beginning to imagine and plan for your Spring garden. In fact,you probably think about your garden all year long.
And to my friends in the Southern Hemisphere -- Enjoy your gardens.
A Harvest Story
At about that same time Jesus left the house and sat on the beach. In no time at all a crowd gathered along the shoreline, forcing him to get into a boat. Using the boat as a pulpit, he addressed his congregation, telling stories.
"What do you make of this? A farmer planted seed. As he scattered the seed, some of it fell on the road, and birds ate it. Some fell in the gravel; it sprouted quickly but didn't put down roots, so when the sun came up it withered just as quickly. Some fell in the weeds; as it came up, it was strangled by the weeds. Some fell on good earth, and produced a harvest beyond his wildest dreams.
"Are you listening to this? Really listening?"
Why Tell Stories?
The disciples came up and asked, "Why do you tell stories?"
He replied, "You've been given insight into God's kingdom. You know how it works. Not everybody has this gift, this insight; it hasn't been given to them. Whenever someone has a ready heart for this, the insights and understandings flow freely. But if there is no readiness, any trace of receptivity soon disappears. That's why I tell stories: to create readiness, to nudge the people toward receptive insight. In their present state they can stare till doomsday and not see it, listen till they're blue in the face and not get it.
I don't want Isaiah's forecast repeated all over again:
Your ears are open but you don't hear a thing.
Your eyes are awake but you don't see a thing.
The people are blockheads!
They stick their fingers in their ears
so they won't have to listen;
They screw their eyes shut
so they won't have to look,
so they won't have to deal with me face-to-face
and let me heal them.
"But you have God-blessed eyes—eyes that see! And God-blessed ears—ears that hear! A lot of people, prophets and humble believers among them, would have given anything to see what you are seeing, to hear what you are hearing, but never had the chance.
The Meaning of the Harvest Story
"Study this story of the farmer planting seed. When anyone hears news of the kingdom and doesn't take it in, it just remains on the surface, and so the Evil One comes along and plucks it right out of that person's heart. This is the seed the farmer scatters on the road.
"The seed cast in the gravel—this is the person who hears and instantly responds with enthusiasm. But there is no soil of character, and so when the emotions wear off and some difficulty arrives, there is nothing to show for it.
"The seed cast in the weeds is the person who hears the kingdom news, but weeds of worry and illusions about getting more and wanting everything under the sun strangle what was heard, and nothing comes of it.
"The seed cast on good earth is the person who hears and takes in the News, and then produces a harvest beyond his wildest dreams."
CASTALIAN SPRINGS, Tenn. (AP) - At first, rescuers thought it was a doll. Then it moved. In a grassy pasture strewn with toys, splintered lumber and bricks tossed by the tornado's widespread wrath, 11-month old Kyson Stowell was lying face down in the mud, 150 yards from where his home once stood.
"It looked like a baby doll," said David Harmon, a firefighter who had already combed the field once looking for survivors. Then he checked for a pulse. "He was laying there motionless ... and he took a breath of air and started crying."
The field had already been combed once for survivors, and finding anyone alive seemed improbable. Hours after the storm, there was devastation everywhere: The body of the boy's mother was found in the same field, houses were wiped to concrete slabs and a brick post office was blown to bits. But except for a few scrapes, Kyson was fine.
At a makeshift shelter for storm victims at Hartsville Pike Church of Christ in nearby Gallatin, the Rev. Doyle Farris said the child was a reminder that people "should never give up, even in the midst of the worst storm.""If you look, you can find an inspiration or a bright spot," he said. "The child will always be a reminder in this community of that message."
" The Keeper’s Garden is destined to become a timeless classic. It's warm and gentle character leads you down a delightful path of self discovery and understanding. Its charming nature speaks to the hearts of all, it teaches that we are welcome with God in a very simple way. Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. Learn about God’s unyielding love you and everyone else in The Keeper’s Garden. "
As the previous message mentioned, many people face the holiday season feeling that they have little reason to celebrate. Certain holidays like Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, Thanksgiving and of course, Christmas can be the saddest of all because of their focus on relationships and gifts. For people who have recently lost a loved one through death or divorce, who may be struggling with physical illness, who may have recently lost a job or, who may simply be a long, long way from home, the songs, decorations and commercials of the season may evoke melancholy instead of joy.
For many years Christmas seemed to have lost its joy for me because I could no longer spend it surrounded by a huge family with lots of children and in my favorite childhood place, my grandparent's farm. This year I've learned the secret of making the holidays special. In fact, it's really no secret at all.
The secret to enjoying the holidays is finding the meaning, the miracle and the sacredness in EVERY day. Approaching each day in this way has helped me find joy throughout the year and celebrate each holiday in a way that is meaningful for me. However, I will never forget the years of dreading the holidays or the Christmases of going through all the motions of shopping, cooking and decorating only to feel a terrible let down when Christmas Day arrived.
So for the next few weeks, I will be celebrating the season and while doing so try to share messages that will help anyone that is facing the holidays with dread, stress or emptiness.
Pamela Lyn
P.S. When you stop and really think about the good old days of holidays past you remember that they weren't really as perfect as you recalled.
Holidays are supposed to be a joyous, happy time, filled with warmth and laughter. Yet, for many, the emotions present are often tension, anger, disappointment, sadness, disillusionment, and even incompetence. What happens that turns these holy days into horrid days? And what can be done to keep that from happening?
Let's start with the first question. There are three things that combine to produce the pain: pressure to have a perfect experience, unrealistic expectations, and the expectation of intimacy. Let's look at each one.
The Perfect Experience. In our culture, holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, are portrayed as "perfect moments." Fairy tale pictures in commercials and holiday cards show us scenes that for many rarely happen--snowy landscapes and horse-drawn sleigh rides, flickering fireplaces and perfectly arranged candles, golden brown turkeys and laughing family members toasting the season. The subtle message is: This is how holidays should be; anything less is inadequate. The reality of holidays is oftentimes holiday dinners that exhaust the cooks and kitchens that take hours to clean; dinner rolls that won't rise; misguided gifts; and people who show up late, "spoiling everything."
Unrealistic Expectations. Trying to have the perfect experience is unrealistic, but other impossible expectations exist as well. There is tremendous pressure to spend too much money on decorations, food, drinks and gifts. Others expect you to "get into the holiday spirit" by entertaining at home or by attending more parties between Thanksgiving and New Year's than you are invited to all year. Declined invitations bring raised eyebrows or sad looks. How can you want to stay home and have a quiet evening? You should be enjoying yourself!
Expectation of Intimacy. The idea of coming home for the holidays is another cultural pressure we must face. The message is simple: You're supposed to be with family during the holidays, and you're suppose to enjoy being together. The reality is often very different. Frequently the added stress of the holiday season's expectations undermines attempts at being together and enjoying one another. The number of people seeking counseling increases after the holidays because of the stress that uncovers flaws in relationships during this time.
In spite of this dismal picture of the holidays, they need not be stressful times. Here are some ideas that can make a difference:
Start by remembering what holidays are really all about:
· Thanksgiving is for giving thanks for what you have,
· Christmas is for celebrating God's gift of eternal life though Jesus Christ,
· New Year's is a time of reflection, renewal and refocusing on things that really matter.
Stop and rethink your habits and traditions associated with these days:
· Make a list, write a narrative, jot some notes to yourself in which you describe what you really want to do versus what you think you should do. Traditions can be very helpful because they provide a sense of continuity with the past. This in turn fosters a sense of belonging, security, relatedness, and intimacy. And traditions provide a structure for important moments. But traditions should be reexamined, because they may need to be changed, revised, even abandoned if they don't achieve what they are suppose to achieve.
· If new traditions make more sense, replace the old ones. It's one thing to visit everyone in your family when there are only two of you and one or two families to visit. But, as families expand and/or change through divorce and remarriage, another approach may make more sense and be just a meaningful.
Accept those things that can not be changed, but change those things that can:
· For example, your Christmas this year is not likely to bring the emotional supports you needed from your parents when you were growing up. If they couldn't do it then, they probably can't do it now.
· Decide to break the bad habits you have with siblings or other relatives, such as rehashing old hurts.
· Intimacy and warm feelings come in momentary waves, not long-lasting deluges; take what is offered and be thankful rather than comparing that to what you wished for and making yourself miserable.
By trying to follow these suggestions, you can actually celebrate the holidays as what they are meant to be: holy days.
Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God's Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don't know how or what to pray, it doesn't matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That's why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.
God knew what he was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in him. After God made that decision of what his children should be like, he followed it up by calling people by name. After he called them by name, he set them on a solid basis with himself. And then, after getting them established, he stayed with them to the end, gloriously completing what he had begun
"Here's another old saying that deserves a second look: 'Eye for eye, tooth for tooth.' Is that going to get us anywhere? Here's what I propose: 'Don't hit back at all.' If someone strikes you, stand there and take it. If someone drags you into court and sues for the shirt off your back, giftwrap your best coat and make a present of it. And if someone takes unfair advantage of you, use the occasion to practice the servant life. No more tit-for-tat stuff. Live generously.
"You're familiar with the old written law, 'Love your friend,' and its unwritten companion, 'Hate your enemy.' I'm challenging that. I'm telling you to love your enemies. Let them bring out the best in you, not the worst. When someone gives you a hard time, respond with the energies of prayer, for then you are working out of your true selves, your God-created selves. This is what God does. He gives his best—the sun to warm and the rain to nourish—to everyone, regardless: the good and bad, the nice and nasty. If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run-of-the-mill sinner does that.
"In a word, what I'm saying is, Grow up. You're kingdom subjects. Now live like it. Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives toward you."
Have you ever been discussing an issue when suddenly someone starts using phrases like "those people", "you know that they all...", and, " I can never understand them"? You get my point.
Well I was recently in one of those conversations and I felt an overwhelming need to loudly proclaim that "I Am They".
It was in that moment that I understood why I can't stop writing about Katrina, or Rwanda, or Sudan, modern slavery, illegal rendition, violence against women, abused children, the preyed upon elderly and oppressed people everywhere. I understood why I can't just "lighten up" or " give it a break for awhile". I understood why I simply can't consume and acquire loads on inexpensive products that have been produced by mistreated and underpaid workers.
I think I've finally understood my faith.
I AM THEY
And I am not alone in feeling this way. The following is an excerpt from the article "Shouting Underwater" which expresses these thoughts far more eloquently than I.
" We are coming up on the two-year mark since the Katrina debacle in Louisiana and Mississippi. I hesitate to call this date an anniversary because the word implies, in some way, a celebration, a birth. What we are scratching on the calendar is more like a notch on a raw gravestone, a count of the days and years that have passed without a reckoning for those who died, those who lost loved ones and for a city that is still in critical condition.
Not only did our government fail to answer the call of its most vulnerable citizens during that fateful period; it still fails each and every day to rebuild, redeem and rescue those who are ignored because of their poverty, their race, their passage into old age.
The disaster named after the hurricane is not confined to the areas affected. Every emergency room, empty bank account and outsourced life's work could be named. We live in a country rife with ignored and condemned poverty. The rich, high on their great corporate steeds, ride over us believing that they are out of the reach of global warming and its symptoms, of terrorism and dwindling natural resources. When government officials tell them to evacuate, they drive their cars, board their corporate jets or simply climb to higher ground with ease. At this very moment they are looking down on Baghdad and New Orleans, Pakistan and Sudan, you and me. The feeling of invulnerability that these people have is unfounded, but nonetheless it makes them reckless. They take chances and cut corners believing that everything will come out all right. Their delusions of grandeur and ultimate power put us in ever more dire straits.
If we call ourselves Americans (and mean it), then we are all victims of Katrina. If we breathe the air or eat fresh fruit, if we call on our cellphones, drink water from a plastic bottle or just nibble on a chocolate bar, then we are Katrina; we are the rising waters around the ankles of this world. "
Change is not always expected or pleasant. Some changes like the sudden death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, the loss of financial security or, watching a love one slowly lose their physical and/or mental abilities are unpleasant and painful.
These are the changes that can make a person of faith question all that they believe. Of course, many people of faith do not want to admit that they ever have questions. In fact, one of my mother's favorite sayings is "you should never question God". So naturally most of life I felt guilty because I questioned everything, especially God.
Over the years, I have accepted that it is my nature to try to seek reason, meaning and purpose in life and in change. And this how I make peace with change.
Much is changing in the Body of Christ right now. I am sure that all of you have felt the strains, twists and tears of these changes.
It is very much a birthing process: There is pain, confusion, effort, frustration. We are feeling the agony; many of us are experiencing great uncertainty as we prepare for huge life changes. Once we leave the womb and are born into this new season, we cannot return to the old season, no matter how warm and welcoming we remember it being. What was safe before is not safe now. Depending on our circumstances and our approaching level of change, we can be terrified. At the very least, we can be horrifically overwhelmed.
In this process, if we are not anchored to God and what He’s told us, we could be swept away by the torrent and lose faith that God is in control, that He is looking out for us.
The Importance of Living in Your Change
This is why it is important for us to truly embrace these changing times. It is here in transitional states, when we have no clue, no savings account and nothing to fall back on, that we grow in Him in leaps and bounds, more than we might have been able to grow in the past 10 years. As you’ve probably heard before, the night is the darkest just before the dawn. We usually learn more from 10 days of agony than 10 years of contentment.
So it is important to actually experience change. How does it feel? Why does it feel like that? For a moment, ignore the dark, and figure out what is actually good about the situation you’re in. Make a list. Write it down. Increase your faith and hold on, because change is coming, and if you do not lose your faith, you will emerge victorious and resplendent on the other side. When God changes His children and their life perceptions, He will always bring them promotion, financial increase, deeper relationships and/or an abiding peace that all is well in His hand.
Contentment in All Circumstances
Paul instructed us to be content in whatever circumstances we found ourselves in (Philippians 4:11–13). This isn’t restricted to just being peaceful when you’re broke or not complaining when you’re sick; it’s true of right now. When was the last time you took a moment to realize your happiness? If you cannot find one thing to be happy about in your life right now, I’d venture to say that the problem’s with you and not because your circumstances are so dire.
If we get caught up in always looking forward to what’s coming, we’ll see a lot of the skyline but miss the many miracles and beautiful things that are happening in our lives right now. Life truly is beautiful, even in the dark.
At the end of my life, I’d like to be able to look back and say that I’ve loved this journey. That it was worth it. That I remember the details, the little nooks and crannies that made it an adventure. That I remember what it smelled like, tasted like, felt like and how it handled. This is what it means to be content in your circumstances.
We normally don’t realize how much we’re missing until we’ve successfully navigated our change. All of a sudden, the change has happened; it’s over, and we’re left with the difference. I don’t know about you, but I want to be left with satisfaction, too. I want to be left with the details and the reasons and the overwhelming awareness of God’s hand in the small things. I want to know His presence in the whispers and His laughter in the midst of the storms. This is what happens when we embrace change and don’t just try to survive it.
Have you ever made a decision to step out on faith only to doubt yourself shortly after? I know I have. But as I shared with a friend a few days ago, while I've had several moments when I've questioned my recent transition a moment has followed shortly thereafter that confirms my faith and reassures my heart. My faith reawakens.
"Faith has tremendous power, and it works either way. Our negative or positive faith helps shape our future. The vision you keep, the words you speak pave the way for your experiences. The mind is a prolific author. What you believe – along with the action you take – composes your life. At this moment our lives reflect where we have been in consciousness and what we have done with our time." Wisdom for the Soul, Larry Chang, p. 299, quoting Susan L. Taylor, Lessons in Living.
"Waking Sleeping Faith"
Prior to his crucifixion, Jesus went to pray in Gethsemane. With him he took three disciples, Peter, and John and James, the two sons of Zebedee. Peter represents faith, John love, and James judgment. Jesus counted on these three to support him in his moment of critical need. Yet, all three fell asleep. Repeatedly, Jesus returned, woke them, and besieged them to stay awake. Repeatedly, they fell asleep. (Mathew 26:36-46)
Faith, love and judgment slept, but Jesus remained awake and praying! Jesus represents the directive power within man. The power we possess to direct ourselves to align with God's will. It is a power beyond faith, a power that can reawaken sleeping faith.
Recently I spoke with a brilliant young lady who I met through the newsletter. She told me about certain circumstances in her life that had turned sour. She was gravely disappointed. The most significant source of her disappointment was that she believed she was mistaken about God's will for her life. She doubted whether the steps she had taken and the sacrifices she had made were directed by God. She questioned whether the divine guidance on which she had relied had been a mental delusion.
I totally understood and empathized with her situation.
When our faith is asleep we may doubt ourselves, doubt our relationship with God, question our destiny, question and even doubt God. This is the normal result of sleeping faith. Worse, sleeping faith may be accompanied by sleeping love, (I no longer love what I am doing) and sleeping judgment (I no longer judge this to be the right thing to do).
Doubt, on the other hand, is likely awake and active.
So? What are we to do?
These are the, "nevertheless" moments, when we must know that we will do God's will nevertheless. Perhaps without loving it, perhaps without faith in it, perhaps without judging it appropriate, Father, "nevertheless, not as I will but as thou wilt."
These are the Nike moments, when we must, "Just do it!"
God's will does not always seem easy, it doesn't always feel synchronous, it doesn't always feel good, or right, or justified, or reasonable, or sensible, or logical. Sometimes it may seem downright crazy and make us question whether what we are doing is divinely guided or guided by the derangement of our own mind or ego.
In those moments, we are to follow Jesus' example! We are to pray, stay awake in Spirit, and use the directive power of our being to do as God directs. When we obey God, our repeated obedience will be the needed wake up call for our sleeping faith. And, in time, faith, love and judgment will arise and stand with us as we go to meet our divine destiny.
"Inner Visions is a network of conscious individuals, who are dedicated to serving God and awakening the consciousness of humanity with LOVE, EXCELLENCE and ELEGANCE. It is a shared philosophy of teaching and practical application of spiritual principles and universal truths as a foundation for living." Rev. Iyanla Vanzant-Bandele, Founding Minister
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